Which, as everyone knows, stands for “I Was Doing Just Fine Before The Computer Came To My House”.
In the fall of 2003 or thereabouts, FD#4 (favorite daughter number 4) stopped by to chat and asked if I would be willing to put up with her for a while because she was going to be homeless and living out of her car if I didn’t. Not wanting to see my youngest living out on the streets or under the bridge, I graciously said yes and she moved into the spare bedroom.
How she managed to fit a bed, dresser, desk, bicycle, exercise equipment, filing cabinets, television, dvd player, computer, printer, and a lot more toys and gadgets into that 10 by 12 foot space, and still have room to walk around amazed me. Seeing all that stuff, I’m thinking the homeless and living out of her car story was just a ploy and it never would have happened. What’s really going on??
So anyway, there we were. Happy as two peas in a pod. Well, I was anyway, I’m not sure about her. Then a couple of weeks later the subject of the computer came up.
FD#4…”want to learn to use the computer?”
DOM (dear old mom), “no thanks, not interested, I’ve never used one before, I don’t need to use one now and besides I’d just break it”
#4, “you’d have fun and you can’t break it”
DOM “ha, you don’t know me, I know I could break it in no time.”
#4, “no you wouldn’t, c’mon, I’ll show you how”
DOM “you’ll be sorry”. Little did I know then that I would be the sorry one.
So after a lot of trials and a ton of errors there I was. Using the SC (scary computer). After learning how to log on and off and play a game or two, I graduated to email. The other FD’s all had computers except for FD#1. She was as backwards as I was when it came to TD’s (technological devices). But eureka, I was using email. I could talk to the others without actually talking. Hey. I have email, send me something!! I was so proud!!
After about a month or two of trudging upstairs a couple of times a day to play around with the SC, I casually mentioned to #4 that I really didn’t feel comfortable going into her bedroom to use it, because I felt that I was kinda invading her private space, and did she maybe want to move it downstairs. She agreed, I know she was smirking, and off we went to get a computer desk for the living room. A while later it was all set up. A computer in my living room. Who’d of thunk it. I could use it anytime during the day while #4 was at work (That’s another thing. She always had a good paying job and could afford to live anyplace. Homeless? I think not)
Ahead 6 months. After getting tired of trying to wrestle me away from the computer so she could spend some time on it, #4 got herself a laptop and we moved up to high speed internet. No more dial up. No more busy signals when someone was trying to call “I don’t know why it was busy, maybe #4 was on the computer”. “I thought she was working” “Oh, then maybe I accidentally left the receiver off the hook”. And now we both could be on our own computer at the same time. Yes, I was beginning to think of this one as mine now.
Ahead 6 more months. #4 “It sure gets dusty in here, doesn’t it?” DOM “Tell me about it. I’m amazed at all that dust and can’t figure out where it comes from. Oh, and if you’re hungry there’s some Stouffers in the freezer. Just pop it in the microwave. And look at this neat trick that I just figured out how to do with this program” I was beginning the downward spiral.
Now it’s the fall of 2006 FD#4 starts talking about the upcoming winter. How she hates snow and is thinking about moving somewhere warmer. Like Arizona. WHAT? A little snow never hurt anybody and you should stay here in Ohio where you belong. None of this moving across the country, like Fla. brat (formerly known as FD#3) did when she moved down south. Nope, you’re not going, it ain’t gonna happen.
January 6, 2007. She’s all packed up. Car loaded to the hilt and 2 bicycles strapped to the back. Car so full that nothing else could possibly fit. No room for my EC (evil computer) so that will have to stay here. Then off she goes, driving into the wild blue yonder, on her way to new and exciting adventures in the Arizona sun, leaving me here, alone, with that monster in my living room.
Present day. So here I sit, dust swirling around me, bed unmade, dirty laundry piling up, dishes in the sink, and I’m practically glued to the EC. I guess it didn’t think I spent enough time on it before, because this last June it even made me start blogging. When this EC finally blows a gasket, which it’s sure to do one of these days, I’ll be free at last. Back to the good old days when my life wasn’t ruled by a @#$%&!$CTHMII&@#$#@&EC. (you’ll have to figure that one out for yourself) Or maybe I’ll be calling FD#2 and asking her to come over and fix the darn thing ASAP.
(I never did figure out why Ariz. brat (formerly known as FD#4) wanted to stay here with me for a while, and except for the part where she forced me to get hooked on the computer, everything else was great fun)