Tuesday, November 11, 2008

IWDJFBTCCTMH

Which, as everyone knows, stands for “I Was Doing Just Fine Before The Computer Came To My House”.

In the fall of 2003 or thereabouts, FD#4 (favorite daughter number 4) stopped by to chat and asked if I would be willing to put up with her for a while because she was going to be homeless and living out of her car if I didn’t. Not wanting to see my youngest living out on the streets or under the bridge, I graciously said yes and she moved into the spare bedroom.

How she managed to fit a bed, dresser, desk, bicycle, exercise equipment, filing cabinets, television, dvd player, computer, printer, and a lot more toys and gadgets into that 10 by 12 foot space, and still have room to walk around amazed me. Seeing all that stuff, I’m thinking the homeless and living out of her car story was just a ploy and it never would have happened. What’s really going on??

So anyway, there we were. Happy as two peas in a pod. Well, I was anyway, I’m not sure about her. Then a couple of weeks later the subject of the computer came up.
FD#4…”want to learn to use the computer?”
DOM (dear old mom), “no thanks, not interested, I’ve never used one before, I don’t need to use one now and besides I’d just break it”
#4, “you’d have fun and you can’t break it”
DOM “ha, you don’t know me, I know I could break it in no time.”
#4, “no you wouldn’t, c’mon, I’ll show you how”
DOM “you’ll be sorry”. Little did I know then that I would be the sorry one.

So after a lot of trials and a ton of errors there I was. Using the SC (scary computer). After learning how to log on and off and play a game or two, I graduated to email. The other FD’s all had computers except for FD#1. She was as backwards as I was when it came to TD’s (technological devices). But eureka, I was using email. I could talk to the others without actually talking. Hey. I have email, send me something!! I was so proud!!

After about a month or two of trudging upstairs a couple of times a day to play around with the SC, I casually mentioned to #4 that I really didn’t feel comfortable going into her bedroom to use it, because I felt that I was kinda invading her private space, and did she maybe want to move it downstairs. She agreed, I know she was smirking, and off we went to get a computer desk for the living room. A while later it was all set up. A computer in my living room. Who’d of thunk it. I could use it anytime during the day while #4 was at work (That’s another thing. She always had a good paying job and could afford to live anyplace. Homeless? I think not)

Ahead 6 months. After getting tired of trying to wrestle me away from the computer so she could spend some time on it, #4 got herself a laptop and we moved up to high speed internet. No more dial up. No more busy signals when someone was trying to call “I don’t know why it was busy, maybe #4 was on the computer”. “I thought she was working” “Oh, then maybe I accidentally left the receiver off the hook”. And now we both could be on our own computer at the same time. Yes, I was beginning to think of this one as mine now.

Ahead 6 more months. #4 “It sure gets dusty in here, doesn’t it?” DOM “Tell me about it. I’m amazed at all that dust and can’t figure out where it comes from. Oh, and if you’re hungry there’s some Stouffers in the freezer. Just pop it in the microwave. And look at this neat trick that I just figured out how to do with this program” I was beginning the downward spiral.

Now it’s the fall of 2006 FD#4 starts talking about the upcoming winter. How she hates snow and is thinking about moving somewhere warmer. Like Arizona. WHAT? A little snow never hurt anybody and you should stay here in Ohio where you belong. None of this moving across the country, like Fla. brat (formerly known as FD#3) did when she moved down south. Nope, you’re not going, it ain’t gonna happen.

January 6, 2007. She’s all packed up. Car loaded to the hilt and 2 bicycles strapped to the back. Car so full that nothing else could possibly fit. No room for my EC (evil computer) so that will have to stay here. Then off she goes, driving into the wild blue yonder, on her way to new and exciting adventures in the Arizona sun, leaving me here, alone, with that monster in my living room.

Present day. So here I sit, dust swirling around me, bed unmade, dirty laundry piling up, dishes in the sink, and I’m practically glued to the EC. I guess it didn’t think I spent enough time on it before, because this last June it even made me start blogging. When this EC finally blows a gasket, which it’s sure to do one of these days, I’ll be free at last. Back to the good old days when my life wasn’t ruled by a @#$%&!$CTHMII&@#$#@&EC. (you’ll have to figure that one out for yourself) Or maybe I’ll be calling FD#2 and asking her to come over and fix the darn thing ASAP.

(I never did figure out why Ariz. brat (formerly known as FD#4) wanted to stay here with me for a while, and except for the part where she forced me to get hooked on the computer, everything else was great fun)

36 comments:

Mildred said...

This is a cute story! I've been a caretaker for my parents for the past twenty years and missed computers completely. About 4 years ago, my husband and brother bought me a computer and I thought what will I do with that thing? As you say, I'm addicted now even to the point where I forget to eat - almost! We fell hard, didn't we???!!!

Not Very Anonymous Mom said...

i sure couldn't sit at home, typing with one hand and eating bon bons with the other, pretending to work if it weren't for this EC.

what did i ever do without teh internetz????

Susie said...

That is so funny flydragon! These things are evil aren't they? My sis and I call it the devil. I'll call her and say,"Hey, what you doing?" and of course her response is, "What do you think I'm doing? I'm sitting here with the devil on my lap!" She has a laptop, I don't.(Not yet) Hate to admit it but yes I am thinking of getting one. Every night I find myself sitting here staring at this blame thing while my honey is sitting in the living room all by his lonesome watching t.v.(not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing) but anyway I get to feeling guilty. So, if I had a laptop I could still blog in the same room with him. Of course, I still wouldn't be paying any attention to him but he'd get over it.

Rudee said...

ROTFLMAO. I often feel the same about my old EC. It may in fact be the thing that generates the dust. I say, throw a little money into the economy and hire a housekeeper.

Anonymous said...

Boy those last five years have flown by, especially when it's written down of the blog. Your pretty darn smart on that gizmo. Didn't take you long to know what you're doing, not like me. I have to ask Conrad how to do most of everything I want to do. (it takes him awhile too) Middle sis

Dog_geek said...

IGYGHOTCSICRYB.

Heehee.

flydragon said...

Mildred
We certainly did fall hard. Maybe because we waited so long before we started.

nvam,
bon bons are probably a lot neater than this 1 lb. hershey bar.

susie,
They are wicked little things for sure. And a laptop can follow you around where ever you go, which is exactly what they're plotting.

rudee,
So that's where all the dust is coming from. I'm glad to know it isn't because of something I'm not doing.

Betty,
That time really did go by fast, didn't it. And I really don't know what the heck I'm doing on this. Most of it is accidental and I'm still afraid I'm going to break the darn thing.

DG,
No thanks but would you PSMMLBMSH?

Anonymous said...

I finally got the 'lol' and now you all come up with a 'language' I'll NEVER get!!! Your stories are getting funnier/better by the minute, at least the parts I can understand!!

SisterNan

flydragon said...

Nan,
Hey, I don't understand half of what I write either so we're in the same BOAT. Get that one? lol

Anonymous said...

I have been reduced to an acronym. But, I don't feel so bad. There are two acronyms before me and one after me. Oh well, this is all due to MFM.

Fla brat (aka FD#3)

Betty said...

Hi, I came over from Dog Geek's blog and I just howled at your story (pun intended). I'm gonna go back and read your other posts for fun. I think I'm going to love your sense of humor! Take care.

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Great story, I love it! We only have been computer literate for 2 years now. And frankly, I don't know how we ever managed.....
I know that I have a hubby somewhere around here, swirling in the dust. I can hear him calling out, "whats for dinner" sweetie there are frozen dinners in the big white box, in the room known as the kitchen. And Bootsie, go get your own cat food, I need to read some more blogs.
Jen

KALI said...

what about the mobiles???
can you still imagine living with it? 'lol!

flydragon said...

fla brat FD#3
Hey it could be worse, and it probably will be as soon as I figure out MFM.

Hi Betty,
Glad you stopped by. Any reader of DG is welcome here too. In fact, I'm trying to steal all of her readers:)

Jen,
How this thing manages to get a strangle hold in such a short time is frightening. Now if we join Jenny Craig we could get food delivered so we wouldn't even have to go grocery shopping. That just leaves coffee and cream, and in your case, cat food....wonder what the neighbor kids are doing today....

kali,
no, no. Not mobiles too.

Not Very Anonymous Mom said...

"formerly" "FORMERLY"!!!! formerly does not equal "aka"!

anyway, as soon as she figures out it means "my freakin' mom" you're outta here!

fd#2

Anonymous said...

Your close NVAM (aka FD#2). Try again.

FD#3

flydragon said...

I'm thinking it better be My Favorite Mom

Shady Gardener said...

Flydragon, Great description of how life can change! :-)

Anonymous said...

I must confess, it was your cooking. You and the SC (stupid computer) are more than welcome to come to the valley of the sun.

FD4 luving PHX!

flydragon said...

shady,
And how fast!!

Ariz brat,
What's wrong with my cooking. What about all those pizzas I made? Oh, that was marcos. Well what about those hot pockets...oh, that wasn't me. What about..... oh.

Roses and Lilacs said...

I love the story. I tried to get my Mom interested but she never quite got the hang of it and gave up. Me, I couldn't get thru a day without at least one.
Marnie

Di said...

Wow, have things changed since the '80's when we hung out. If we had had computers then, think of the money we would have saved. But then we wouldn't have developed our friendship, and our affection for George. I guess I wouldn't trade those fun times for anything. GJWTHF! So now we're reduced to sitting in front of a machine and living in filth er, I mean dust. Progress!

flydragon said...

Marnie,
It's very hard to teach us moms new tricks. You notice I didn't say old dogs:) Wouldn't know what I do without it now either.

Di,
Your right, a lot of money would've been saved but a whole lot of fun would have been missed. I'm glad I had the fun!! Every time I hear old George, I think of those times. I don't think there's going to be a song that reminds me of the computer :)

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hey great blog! You are too funny..but I hear ya! I have been computer literate for awhile, I have been noted for being a mad clicker! Dust? I have forgotten..what is that? Far Guy cooks now if the infernal phone would stop interupting my reading I would be happy! I love the blogs, where I am entertained ! Like yours! :)

flydragon said...

far side,
I too like the funny, entertaining blogs which is why I read yours and far guys. I check out blogs and if I find a funny comment, I'll check out that persons blog. I think I found you that way:)

T said...

Hi, I came over from Dog-Geeks Blog too. Yep, you stole me with this post. You are so hilarious, and described me to a T! Ah, funny, since I am T. LOL.

I was always afraid of the computer until my hubby finally convinced me to learn 2 years ago, I'm still learning.

Love your blog, you had me at this post! :))

flydragon said...

Hi T,
Welcome aboard this train that's going nowhere. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one still learning about this EC. Now if only I could find the off button....

Anonymous said...

Yes Flydragon, MFM is "My Favorite Mom". Just so there is no confusion!!!! My goal is to be SSFD!

FD#3

Stephanie said...

OMG! ROFLMAO How true, how true! You're a hoot! My family always knows where they can find me. And thanks to only having dial-up available, er affordable (thanks to EC keeping me home instead of finding a JOB), everyone calls my cell phone first. What happened to sittin' on the front porch, rockin' and watching the sun set behind the mountain? Now we don't even notice when the room gets dark! LOL

flydragon said...

FD#3
Yeah right MFM means that. And your goal is to be Silly Stepmommas Favorite Dork?

Hi Stephanie,
Now that you mention it, I should probably check to see if my rocker is still out there. And I'm thinking about putting a timer on one of the lamps so it automatically goes on at dusk. That should help.

Rose said...

Beckie (of Dragonfly Corner) recommended this post to me, and I'm so glad I came here, Flydragon! We might be soul sisters:) Except that I had to learn how to use a computer for work, so my kids didn't teach me, although I haven't progressed much in computer knowledge since then.

I, too, have an FD now living in Arizona; I miss her, but it gives me an excuse to fly somewhere warm for a week during the winter.

I hope your computer never crashes. I just spent the last 8 weeks (!) waiting for mine to get fixed. I could use my daughter's fortunately, but my worries were not "how much will it cost," but "what am I going to do without my files of photos for my blog??"

Thanks for the chuckles.

flydragon said...

Hi Rose,
Isn't beckie a sweetie for mentioning my silly blog. I'm glad it gave you a few laughs.

I haven't seen FD#4 since she moved. I'm not fond of flying. I always figured since I don't have wings I'm not supposed to be flying around up there.

Eight weeks is a long time without the EC. I don't have access to another one so I am definitely gonna be out of luck if this one takes a dive. I hope it doesn't in the near future, because I would have no more excuses for not cleaning up around here:)

And thanks for stopping by.

Blackswamp_Girl said...

LOL!!!! Well, I for one am not sorry that you got hooked up with the EC. Because I enjoy your blogging immensely. :)

flydragon said...

Kim,
Thanks.....But I'm still not sure this is a good thing as I think I'm allergic to dust...achoo, sniff sniff, cough

oldcrow61 said...

lol, re: the computer story. Sounds very similar to my own experience.

flydragon said...

Hi oldcrow,
Judging by the comments, this post hit a chord with quite a few readers:)