Saturday, November 14, 2009

HOSPICE

I know this doesn’t sound like it would be a title of one of my posts. I’m usually posting something a bit more witty, well I try to anyway, with a slightly? morbid sense of humor, (fortunately my family has the same sense of humor), up beat, making each other laugh, and generally having a good time, trying to out do each other. Well, this post doesn’t seem to be working that way this time.

That’s because this is not really a post about me . It is actually a comment ( a very long one) to one of Rudees from “A Knitting Nurse” that she posted last Saturday on Nov. 7th. I know it took me a while but I was so angry at the time, that I figured I’d better take time to think about it till I cooled off a bit and could at least try to sound a little bit rational. I’m not sure it worked, but at least I’m not taking all her comment page space up, and decided to take up my own space up instead.

I’ve never met Rudee, except through her blog, but I’ve gotten the idea that she is a nurse that is one of the ones that comes in at the later stages of the patients illness. I could be wrong of course, correct me if I am) and so far I have only met the nurses, social workers, and the doctor that are the ones that come in at the beginning. Since the middle of September of have met the most caring, friendly, courteous, wonderful, people that go out of their way to explain your illness to you, explain all your options to you, try to relieve all your and your familys anxieties, manage your pain levels until they find the right combinations, (which they definitely do) visit you sometimes daily to do this, and when they are not here, they are constantly calling you to see how you are, if you need anything. Aside from my own family, Hospice workers are second to none!!! I can’t say enough good things about each and every one of them.

From what I have read about patients in the care of Hospice, sometimes the different combinations of medications can alter the mental outlook and cause some mean, and obnoxious behaviorism through no fault of their own. But all Hospice nurses know that and I’m sure are quick to forgive this kind of behavior. But…when it’s a family member who treats the nurses this way, it is totally unacceptable!!!! Treating a nurse that way, swearing and abusing them, the one who is there for the sole purpose of taking care of your loved one, making sure they get the best of care in their final days, is deplorable.

While that is fresh in my mind, I will now write letters of apologizes to all my family members in case I start to act like that, ( I know they’ll forgive me, cause we’ve talked about this, and I know they will not treat any nurses in this abusive way either because I’ve already threatened to slap them up side the head if they do) and I’m sure the nurses will also do the same. Well maybe they won’t slap them, but they have my permission if they want to.

All that being said, my hats, ( which are plentiful at this time thanks to all family members) are raised to each and everyone of you who choose to pick this type of career, taking care of others in their time of need, and hopefully are always treated in the best possible way. You certainly deserve it!!

24 comments:

Rudee said...

What!?! What!?!

I feel like I've missed what should have been a hundred posts from the summer. I don't even know what color of ribbon I should be wearing in your honor.

My heart is aching here for you and your daughters, Flydragon, and selfishly, for myself. I love to read what you write and I adore your sharp wit and writing style. I have been missing your beautifully written posts all summer (and fall).

I'm sending a gazillion (gentle) hugs your way and one for each of your beautiful daughters.

Love,

Ruth

ps-thanks for sticking up for me and my cronies out there doing what we do best. I'm so glad you've found some good people to surround yourself with.

Rose said...

I have the utmost respect for hospice workers, for nurses, and anyone who takes care of the elderly and the terminally ill. It's a job that I know I could never handle.
A disease changes not only the patient, but often times the family members, unfortunately. In their anger or bewilderment about their loved one's illness, they sometimes strike out at others. I saw that first hand in an in-law who wanted to have complete control and wouldn't let others help, yet couldn't cope herself with her mother's illness. A rift was created in our family that has never been healed.

I say this only because I understand how it happens, but that doesn't make it right! I do hope Rudee has gotten over this incident and no longer has to deal with this particular situation. As for you, Flydragon, I've been concerned about you and hope that you are well. Whatever you're going through, I hope you realize that your blogging friends are here for you and we care about you!

Far Side of Fifty said...

Uffda..That is all I can say..I miss your whitty and funny posts too..but you knew that.
You are scaring me now, and yes I have tears in my eyes..do you feel better now that you made me bawl?
I will be your friend no matter what.

I do believe that Hospice Nurses are Angels sent to help with what is sometimes a very difficult journey. They don't deserve harsh treatments or words from anyone. :(

Mildred said...

I am finding it hard to know what to say. I am stunned. You have been my blog friend from the very beginning and I treasure your friendship and enjoy your quick wit also.
I can truthfully say that I came to love the hospice angels who cared for Mama. I marvel at the amount of devotion required by them to do what they do.
I pray for you and your family and your Hospice caregivers. Wish I was there with Harriet to give you a heartfelt hug. I mailed you one of Jen's (Muddy Boot Dreams) lovely cards today to remind you that you are in my heart & prayers.

Rositta said...

I only know Rudee through posts and some emails and know this about her; if she rants she has a good reason. I wish there had been someone like her in Greece when my MIL died this spring. There is a dire shortage of hospice care available in and around Toronto as well. She is one heck of a woman, must say. I didn't leave a comment on that post of her's, it would have been too long. You said it all...ciao

Anonymous said...

Rudee--hats off/raised to you and your cronies for what you do. Thank you.

FM#1 hats off/raised to you to for your post. Bout time! By the way, don't worry about us kids being stupid errrr inconsiderate (stupid is a family trait-can't change that). I just hope that your new friends don't misunderstand our sense of humor!

FD#3

Rose said...

I, too, feel like I've missed something; I hope you and your family are okay and send good thoughts your way.

beckie said...

Flydragon, Not knowing where to start-I guess it will be with the wonderful Hospice caregivers. Truly most are Angels here on earth to help ease pain, both physical and mental, in those who need it the most. What a wonderful and very special group of people they are.

Now to you. I have missed your wonderful posts and have been concerned about you. Lots of us are. In fact I recieved a phone call tonight from a fellow blogger saying you had posted and not to miss it.

We are all pulling for you and your family and sending prayers and hugs.

Take care dear Flydragon and let us know about you and if there is anything we can do.

Susie said...

Flydragon I feel at a loss for words. Just know I have missed your posts and will definitely keep you in my prayers.

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

I am at a loss for words also. Will you accept a heartfelt hug from me.

Thinking of you.

Jen

Jan said...

I don't know what to say. I am missing something here. Hope you and yours are doing better.

Rudee said...

hey....I want to speak to you. Will you send me your email? rudeek45ATgmail.com just substitute @ for AT.

You've been heavy on my mind for days.

TC said...

FD, I guess I missed a lot of what's been goin on with you. I sure hope your condition, be it mental or physical, improves. My oldest sister is an RN, my brother was a EMT, my Mom worked at a nursing home for 20 years, so I'm well aware of the special kind of person it takes to do this type of work. I don't think I could. So, I take my hat off to all the medical workers too!

(I've missed your blog posts and hope you feel up to being your witty "old" self again!)

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hey kiddo! Hope you are having a good Saturday..laying around ..eating chocolate..I hope you got my card this week..I hope it made you smile:)

Far Side of Fifty said...

Happy Thanksgiving..I am looking forward to the dark meat and the mashed potatoes and gravy..and my Pumpkin Pie that I made from scratch..except for the crust..it actually looks like a real pie! :)

troutbirder said...

Flydragon...my prayers for you and your family.
I just brought my wife home from three weeks in the hospital and nursing home. She couldn't get over how wonderful the care was and how awful the food was...so having been assigned now to do the cooking, I mentioned if she felt that I wasn't up to the task, I could always check back to the nursing home to see if they did carry-outs

TheSpindleshay said...

Favorite Daughter #2 here. Update on my mom over at http://tenuousatbest.blogspot.com.

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These are so wonderful flowers. Your garden is so beautiful Nd relaxing. That's sure result of hard work.

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